Relationships

Women and Men throughout time contemplated, wrote songs, plays, novels and sonnets about that one special feeling: Love. Now I know this is July, not February, but this question came up to me last night when I was texting my boyfriend: What is love? And better yet, what are relationships?
When you really think about it, nobody is really “married” or “dating”. It’s not a state of being, it’s only a definition of human relationships. “I’m ‘dating’ this person” or “I’m ‘married’ to her/him”. What you’re really saying is this: I love this person and I feel we have an extraordinary bond so let’s put a label on it. These “bonds” are typically defined by: Married, Engaged, Dating, F*cking, Just Friends (or the ever-annoying “Friend Zone”), etc. These labels imply that you “belong” to that other person, whoever it is. My boyfriend is not my “boyfriend’, he’s just, well let’s just say that he’s a guy I’m into (and contemplating ending our so-called connection). We’re not taken, we’re not kidnapped after all. We aren’t “off the market”, since any person can have any kind of relationships they so feel like. No one is “cheating”, they are simply exploring a bond with someone else. You can’t cheat if you don’t owe anything to that other person.
If you want to define relationships, however, that’s great. I also like labels but the point of the last two paragraphs was that that’s what they are, just labels humans made up to explain their purpose in someone else’s life. Labels are like Religion: to explain things in life.
After we cleared up that little annoying label, I want to draw attention to what those labels mean, not what they are.
What is Dating?
“Dating” is the stereotypical “get to know you” phase shown in movies. You know the “honeymoon” phase, where things get really romantic. Never had one. Personally, a relationship doesn’t become “dating” until we have a honeymoon phase and then fades away. If you never had a honeymoon phase, then the appropriate label should be “friends”. though honestly, I’ve always wondered about “dating”. Is it really all that special? Wouldn’t you rather just date yourself? I mean, do what you want, when you want it, how you want it, and you can always get a “Friend with Benefits” for those horny nights. If that’s not your thing, there’s always a dildo. Or for a guy: your hand. Really, I think that dating is confusing. Like I said before, I don’t define my relationship with my “boyfriend” dating, so I’ve never really dated. Tell me, is it like the movies say it is? Are the feelings just like they say they are? Why share your life when you can keep it to yourself? I never understood why the women in Sex and the City (that is, except Samantha) obsessed over the numerous men they slept with. In the end of the day, we’re all alone. We’re the only ones in our heads, the only ones who know our life story, who have our own memories of common ones, and we all die by ourselves. We may have people in our presence but we are the only ones departing from the earth. Other people die as well. But we’re the only ones who feel ourselves die. We are born alone, and we die alone. So why obsess over someone’s dick picture?
What is being Engaged?
Well, well, well. Put a ring on it. Suddenly, we’re all spending thousands of much needed dollars for what? Oh that’s right. ONE DAY PEOPLE. Which brings me into Marriage…..
What is Marriage?
Stereotypically dreaded by every man who likes to call himself a man, Marriage is now a Trap for any self-respecting male. Apparently. Really, from what I heard about it (and how suck-ish my parents make it look) it’s just like Dating but suddenly, YOU’RE ALLOWED TO HAVE CHILDREN!!!!!!!! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY. Not. I’m never having kids if I can help it. But seriously. Why do you suddenly get to own each other? Like , “Oh I’m married to you (if I’m not gay because apparently it’s a sin) and I love you so go and do the dishes”. That’s like so sexy. so I’d rather be friends with Benefits. No feelings, just fucking. Yup, definitely doing that when I’m older. Which brings us to….
What is Friendship?
Friendship, or “Let’s just be friends” is the most convenient relationship. You fuck (if you want to), you talk and no ESPECIALLY EXTRAORDINARY feelings are shared. It’s basically everything that dating, marriage and engagement is, just they’re apparently “special”.
Well I’m done ranting about relationships. I’m not even sure I’m making sense anymore. XD anyway good bye and good day!

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Things I hate about Teachers

Well, it’s time to face it. School starts in three weeks and to celebrate my…displeasure, I will write about what I can’t respect, like or tolerate without bitching about it later that teachers do. Get ready, because it’s going to take a while.
1. When teachers waste time talking about their personal lives.
Ok, this one will seem funny to most of you but I pretty much hate it when this happens. First of all, your job is a teacher. You get paid (from our taxes!) to flipping teach. Unless I like you as a teacher, I don’t give three shits about how bad your cat’s constipation is. Second of all, it’s a huge waste of time, especially when they take up a whole class period talking about how bad you like the weekend. Considering the fact that America’s SAT scores and IQ scores are falling, and the Internet takes up so much brain space already, we don’t need our very fragile attention span wasted by you talking about your ex-husband/wife. Seriously. High School and Middle School teachers: you only get a specific class for ONE PERIOD A DAY. You might as well use it to TEACH US SOMETHING!!!! Third of all (that sounds awkward), you will give us the day’s homework anyway, so why the fuck not let us LEARN AND PRACTICE FOR OUR HOMEWORK???!!!!
2. When teachers ask about my personal life.
This hasn’t happened to me personally, but I read and heard enough stories to know that to some extent, this happens. That is NEVER EVER okay. Ever. Just like I couldn’t care less about your magazine subscriptions, you have no right to care about my favorite books or movies, unless it’s DIRECTLY related to my class work. You are my teacher, not a friend. You have no right towards my personal life and I don’t have a right to yours. Let’s keep it that way.
3. When teachers tell you not to read ahead.
This has happened to me PLENTY because apparently I can’t enjoy a book without reading through it fast. I learn better that way. Yes, teachers, I do. I write something down or excuse me, annotate the damn book and then I read ahead. But no. I just don’t understand what’s the big deal if I read ahead. If anything: it should be called a damn achievement considering most of the books we read SUCK BALLS. No joke. Romeo on the rebound….how nice is that huh? I think the moral of the story of Romeo and Juliet should be: Thou shalt wait until thy art over thy crush before thou fall in sinful lust for a thirteen year old girl promised in marriage. But yeah, some teachers are super annoying about “everybody on the same page”. Well fuck you then.
4. When teachers gossip about you IN FRONT OF YOU.
This happened once to me. NO, that’s NOT okay. Gossip and shit like that is normal and healthy BUT NOT IN FRONT OF THE PERSON YOU’RE GOSSIPING ABOUT. Basic etiquette people, basic etiquette. I don’t really remember what they were saying but it was probably about how I love to read to the point of distraction. Bitches, need I remind you that half the class by that point had those brand new smart cell phones and were twacking and texting away? Who did every assignment with enthusiasm? If you, the teacher, have a SINCERE problem with my behavior, JUST F*CKING TELL ME, instead of gossiping like school girls in front of me. If you don’t particularly enjoy my presence, well don’t worry, I don’t particularly enjoy yours either. Two way street people.

That being said, I do want to become a teacher eventually (not until I get some patience first) and I do respect hard working teachers and I do understand that sometimes we all make mistakes and at the same time, I do get annoyed by some stuff that really aren’t appropriate in a school setting and some rules really don’t make any sense. So before anybody gets offended by this: just remember that I don’t hate teachers, just certain things annoy the shit out of me.

Also, this is only the beginning and there will probably be a series about stuff I don’t get about teachers and things that annoy me. So stick around for part 2 (if you’d obviously like to) :).

Starting the Journey in Loving Myself

Ok, so this type of article has been published before, like a million times before. I would show you examples but like any self-centered teenager, I really want you to stay on my blog and read my rambling thoughts.
Ok so let us get something straight. I’m told I’m pretty, but I don’t feel pretty. My friends are super pretty and have the Facebook likes and comments to prove it (not to mention one of them is dating a super hot older foreign guy right now and I barely ever see mine) and I…don’t (have numerous Facebook likes and comments). Even my “best” guy friend said they were prettier. Guys, take note. Never tell a girl that someone else is prettier, especially not a girl you’d like to sleep with. Just a thought. Just putting it out there.
Let me tell you something: I will never admit to myself that being Pretty is not important, that it’s OK to not be as gorgeous as your closest friend and that Beauty isn’t going to last forever. Whenever I do tell myself this: it ends with me screaming into a pillow that I don’t deserve to soil people’s eyes with my Ugliness.
Jesus Christ, my little pity party is getting out of control. Reeeboottt….
Yup, my lack of Self Esteem is seriously hurting me. Like, who else would be up at 2 am hoping to die and be reborn as a mini Scarlett Johansson? I’m pretty (he-he pun not intended) sure that no one has that low of self-worth, and if they do (like me) they need help. Maybe we can all go down to Starbucks and bitch about our thighs, our acne and our faces? Like seriously. I could use a little therapy carbs.
But in all seriousness though, not only is my self esteem hurting me but it’s also hurting my friendships. Nope, not joking.
A couple of days ago I was feeling like shit and I was talking to my pretty friend and we were talking about sparkly dresses we saw at the mall (I know, I’m such a teenager). She was saying that she absolutely loved how a certain dress looked on her and I just randomly blurt out, “Of course it looks amazing on you. You’re fucking gorgeous. You know, everything I’m not.” I wanted to cry at my shame. Did I just seriously say that? To a friend?
It took several seconds and then she said, “You know you’re gorgeous.”
I go, “No I’m not,” I mumbled, blushing even as I said it. I was happy, because well when a Pretty person says you’re gorgeous, you kinda have to believe it.
“I don’t lie, you’re gorgeous as well.”
“Uh-huh,” I mumble again. It got awkward fast and we moved on to making fun of our teachers. See what I mean though? I enjoy my friendships and my self worth sucks and that will be the downfall of the most fulfilling female friendships I’ve had in a long time (never mind that I’m in high school, that’s really not the point). I don’t want to lose them. So then I got my epiphany, or whatever you name it.
We focus so much on “perfect” beauty that we are conditioned to believe that only perfect people are beautiful. Well that is false. As of today.
So before we dismantle what we think is beauty, let’s think of what is ugly. Lack of symmetry comes to mind, as well as a less-than perfect complexion, not tall, no long legs, smaller or weathered breasts. And what is beauty? Big eyes, being tall (but not taller than a man, because remember: men made these rules), super innocent looking eyes, blue eyes and mostly long hair but super straight. Basically, perfection. And ugliness, is HUMAN.
So there it is folks: being imperfectly human is now being ugly. Think about it. We’re human and we have discolorations and zits and sometimes, we look (almost) perfect. We’re flawed but society teaches us not to be, and in order to be beautiful, we have to match a certain type. But look around you: how many women look like that without plastic surgery or makeup? Almost no one. Sure, the perfect looking people are considered beautiful,but how much of it was born with them?
Look I’m not saying that I suddenly began to love how I look but we really need to start accepting imperfection as beauty. I don’t have perfect skin or thighs or boobs, but I’m hoping that while we consider blotches on skin as automatically ugly, we will see that this particular person is still Pretty. I’ll still think that I’m not as Pretty as my friends but hopefully, I’ll see that I’m just as pretty as them. Yes, it’s going to be a long journey but so is life and things will set you back.
To wrap up this whole thing: If you really want to start feeling pretty, don’t put on makeup, don’t diet (unless for a health issue), don’t pile on the skin cream (again unless for health reasons) because then you’re aiming for this perfection that doesn’t exist. That’s my view but if you love makeup, then knock yourself out.
I’m not perfect, but neither are my friends. If we all start saying that we’re perfect, then really we’re all boring and the same. And that, my friends is a flaw.
Imperfection makes us all equal and beautiful. So, if you’re stuck like me crying at 2 am, remember that imperfection is what makes you human and beautiful.

PS: Yes, this is my second time posting today. And no, I’m not going to turn out like Thought Catalog. At least, I hope not.

Summer Assignments

Summer reading sucks. I say that because it’s true. Buying a book you wouldn’t read otherwise, wasting time trying to decode the secrets there, gets on my nerves and bores the f*ck outta me, to say the least. Last year, I didn’t start the summer reading until the day before school started and let me tell ya, it showed in my work. To Kill a Mockingbird may be a classic, but agonizing over the title is no fun. Ever.
This year will be easier, since I know what I’m looking for and doing. However, the books they planned for us, well let’s just say they aren’t any better. I chose Their eyes are Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston. I’m like four pages in, and let me tell ya, the writing is good but I honestly don’t know why I chose this book over Cat’s Cradle. Oh wait, I do. I was tired of satire, and this book is supposed to be about love and family. If I want to see patronizing people and read/hear them, I can go to Comedy Central dot com and watch the latest Stephen Colbert episode and then to HBO for Bill Maher. So yeah, the cuddly times for me……
So far, nothing but judgmental busybody skanks. Well, aren’t I in for a treat. But I’m sticking around. After all, it’s my fault I assumed about the romance part. This isn’t the f*cking Notebook after all.

Consequences/Abortion

If anybody really knows me, they know I watch an outdated show called, “Sex and the City”. To be brief about this show, I’ll just say it’s about four best friends living in Manhattan and paving their way through their thirties (and in one woman’s case-her forties) with fun, cosmos (apparently some kind of alcoholic drink), sex and boyfriends in tow (in at least one woman’s case- her two husbands in tow). Those who have watched this show know exactly what I’m talking about. But every action gets a reaction-as anybody knows from life. Hell, I even figured it out and I’m only in high school. In the show’s case, the reaction to the action is the possibility of Abortion.
Now, if you haven’t been living under a rock the past couple of years, you know that Abortion has been a very controversial topic, one that anybody who has been even slightly paying attention to will understand and take part in. Most conservatives are pro-life, which means they are against any legal abortion, they are against anybody in any circumstances having an abortion. Stereotypical liberals are pro-choice, which means they are okay with legal abortion, while they might not get abortions themselves. And now here is the question: what the hell does it have to do with Sex and the City?
Well, I’ll tell you. In the episode I had just finished watching, the lawyer has gotten pregnant by her ex-boyfriend, while another woman, the housewife (that used to work at a gallery) is trying to get pregnant but isn’t successful. The lawyer is thinking of getting an abortion without telling her ex, who got her pregnant. The housewife is upset. Anyway, that’s the synopsis of the episode. What is interesting about this particular episode, is the question (at least for me) it raises. Is it okay to get an abortion, and is it okay to do it without your sexual partner knowing you got pregnant in the first place? That’s the dilemma that the lawyer faces. And after watching a scene where the remaining two women talk about how they got abortions and they didn’t tell the sexual partners (at the time) that they were pregnant, I got to thinking, (how Carrie Bradshaw is that?) do your partners have a say in keeping your baby, or is it your personal decisions that count?
Personally, I think that if you really do want an abortion, and that nothing is going to stop you from making that decision, then you owe it to your sexual partner to at least let them know. If you’re unsure, then you should especially let your partner know so you can make the best decision possible. In the end, the consequences are yours to experience. Sex has consequences: pregnancy and STI’s are the worst case scenarios.
Of course, sex isn’t the only action that could have a serious life-changing reaction. Though this show is of course mostly about sex, (the title should make it obvious) there are other things that can backfire. Marrying someone super quick should be a no-no, but if you do it, then you have an increased chance of divorce.
Life is full of consequences, but this is one specific post about them. And remember, this is only the beginning of this debate. I used abortion because this is one of the many issues that we will have to go over and over again. And no, I won’t offer a concrete opinion on this subject.