Well, it’s time to face it. School starts in three weeks and to celebrate my…displeasure, I will write about what I can’t respect, like or tolerate without bitching about it later that teachers do. Get ready, because it’s going to take a while.
1. When teachers waste time talking about their personal lives.
Ok, this one will seem funny to most of you but I pretty much hate it when this happens. First of all, your job is a teacher. You get paid (from our taxes!) to flipping teach. Unless I like you as a teacher, I don’t give three shits about how bad your cat’s constipation is. Second of all, it’s a huge waste of time, especially when they take up a whole class period talking about how bad you like the weekend. Considering the fact that America’s SAT scores and IQ scores are falling, and the Internet takes up so much brain space already, we don’t need our very fragile attention span wasted by you talking about your ex-husband/wife. Seriously. High School and Middle School teachers: you only get a specific class for ONE PERIOD A DAY. You might as well use it to TEACH US SOMETHING!!!! Third of all (that sounds awkward), you will give us the day’s homework anyway, so why the fuck not let us LEARN AND PRACTICE FOR OUR HOMEWORK???!!!!
2. When teachers ask about my personal life.
This hasn’t happened to me personally, but I read and heard enough stories to know that to some extent, this happens. That is NEVER EVER okay. Ever. Just like I couldn’t care less about your magazine subscriptions, you have no right to care about my favorite books or movies, unless it’s DIRECTLY related to my class work. You are my teacher, not a friend. You have no right towards my personal life and I don’t have a right to yours. Let’s keep it that way.
3. When teachers tell you not to read ahead.
This has happened to me PLENTY because apparently I can’t enjoy a book without reading through it fast. I learn better that way. Yes, teachers, I do. I write something down or excuse me, annotate the damn book and then I read ahead. But no. I just don’t understand what’s the big deal if I read ahead. If anything: it should be called a damn achievement considering most of the books we read SUCK BALLS. No joke. Romeo on the rebound….how nice is that huh? I think the moral of the story of Romeo and Juliet should be: Thou shalt wait until thy art over thy crush before thou fall in sinful lust for a thirteen year old girl promised in marriage. But yeah, some teachers are super annoying about “everybody on the same page”. Well fuck you then.
4. When teachers gossip about you IN FRONT OF YOU.
This happened once to me. NO, that’s NOT okay. Gossip and shit like that is normal and healthy BUT NOT IN FRONT OF THE PERSON YOU’RE GOSSIPING ABOUT. Basic etiquette people, basic etiquette. I don’t really remember what they were saying but it was probably about how I love to read to the point of distraction. Bitches, need I remind you that half the class by that point had those brand new smart cell phones and were twacking and texting away? Who did every assignment with enthusiasm? If you, the teacher, have a SINCERE problem with my behavior, JUST F*CKING TELL ME, instead of gossiping like school girls in front of me. If you don’t particularly enjoy my presence, well don’t worry, I don’t particularly enjoy yours either. Two way street people.
That being said, I do want to become a teacher eventually (not until I get some patience first) and I do respect hard working teachers and I do understand that sometimes we all make mistakes and at the same time, I do get annoyed by some stuff that really aren’t appropriate in a school setting and some rules really don’t make any sense. So before anybody gets offended by this: just remember that I don’t hate teachers, just certain things annoy the shit out of me.
Also, this is only the beginning and there will probably be a series about stuff I don’t get about teachers and things that annoy me. So stick around for part 2 (if you’d obviously like to) :).