Another attempt….

…At book writing. Every once in a while, I get an amazing idea for a book or a story and I work on it for hours and then I stop because of insecurities.  And naturally, everytime I attempt something, I think I’m going to finish it. Not true with anything I’ve ever done. But hey, at least this blog is still floating. 
I love writing. There’s nothing more pleasant in the world than the written word.  I love books, and stories and plays and movies and songs….it’s all so beautiful. Photography and painting are also pleasures for me. Ahhh.  And I’m really trying to make something out of myself here. It’s not just a hobby, I want to make it my life. So I’m attempting to write something good again.

Their Eyes Were Watching God

So I finally finished read “Their Eyes were Watching God”, which essentially is a love story. Well, I hated it. The writing was amazing, but the characters had obvious characteristics and personalities.  Not to mention, the plot was just a place holder plot.
Plot: Janie Crawford is a young girl who gets married at the age of sixteen because her grandmother wants her to have financial security.  The marriage doesn’t work out so she runs away to another man and they get married and settle in a sleeoy town which grows due to Janie’s new husband’s work ethic and love of power. The marriage falls apart and the second husband dies so she stays in mourning until she meets a man who is a lot younger that her. They fall in love, leave and get married. They get settled in a small farming town in the mountains and they make a living picking beans and hunting. Then a hurricane comes in and they have to leave when the man gets bitten by a dog with rabies and goes mad. Janie ends up shooting him in self defense, and is arrested. She gets acquitted from her charges and goes back to where she came from. That’s it. That’s the plot.
It’s not terribly boring, the action is nice but I hate the so called romantic parts. However, this was written during the 1930s, so I’m guessing this was romantic then. I wouldn’t recommend it to read unless it’s for school. The book is about finding your freedom and yourself. However, all I got out of it was that Janie wanted love, not freedom. She found herself through three men, so no, this is not a feminist work.  However, the language is beautiful and that’s it’s only strength.
See you!!

Do Something Already

Sometimes, when I’m bored, I go up to my room and turn off the lights. I change out of my day clothes and open the windows and light a candle and I stare up at the ceiling and just think. That rarely happens, as I’m wasting out in front of the television or depressingly scroll through my Facebook feed. and so I get to thinking: what is the point of all of this? I mean, we’re all going to die, so it really doesn’t make a difference on how you live your life, but for the sake of argument I will say this: your life matters and how you live it matters.
So why do we care about the car we drive and how many friends we have? If the way you live will make a difference in the world and if you genuinely believe that your life matters, then why in the fucking hell are we sitting around on our asses reading about a friend of a friend of a friends’ latest Sim City ground breaking score? If we think that our lives have purpose and meaning to others: then why are we not doing anything? I think the problem with American society is that we take for granted our place in the world so we don’t really think that we have to work hard to get respect or money. I will say this though: we have a reason to be entitled but for the sake of argument we’ll remove the socioeconomic circumstances.
I can’t stop laughing at how many ways we all waste our lives. Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Youtube. They all have a great function, in theory. But in when you take a look what’s going on in the real world practice of various social media, the whole point of it is to advertise yourself, “oh look at me! I’m so sexy,funny,sweet,etc!” We put up a front of being awesome, but we’re not being awesome organically. We stage our lives, wasting them to compete and to be perfect. Our lives matter, but we treat them as a game. We treat them as a sport. “Oh! Let’s try this! Oh! Laura has that shirt, I need to buy it as well.” And when we do volunteer work, it’s only to show off, to make friends (I’m guilty of that…), to put on our resumes that other people will do, and really, just act for the sake of appearances, not because we genuinely want to make people’s passage through Earth easier. That’s one of the reasons why I haven’t volunteered yet. There’s nothing I truly care about yet to really do that. So I’m part of the problem. However, I found several charities that look like I would enjoy helping with, but I think my Government teacher wants us to volunteer for credit, so I’m not sure I’ll enjoy it as much.
I’m not one of those “high and mighty” people who are above my criticism. I’m not. I do nothing, I work on homework, chat on Facebook, write this damn blog. I admit it! I do nothing, and I admit that I’m part of the problem. I’m wasting my life doing things that won’t make me live any longer or make me any happier. I don’t volunteer, I don’t play an active part in my community, I read day and night but it doesn’t benefit society.
So the point of this post?
DO SOMETHING ALREADY!!! Become educated, and become passionate. Talk, make networks that you cherish and GET OFF OF FACEBOOK!!! Just don’t even think about clicking that log-in button. Don’t freaking advertise yourself everywhere unless you genuinely want to get people into your organization. Don’t put something on an application unless you genuinely care about what you are doing.
Don’t waste your time/life documenting your existence. It’s boring anyway.

What is it like to die?

I wonder what’s it’s like to die.
To know you will never see the sun again
To know that you will never laugh
Nor cry
Nor smile at another’s love and happiness
I wonder what’s it’s like to say good-bye
And know that they will be the last words you’ll ever say
I wonder if I’ll be sad when it’s time for me to go
Or content because I served my purpose
Will I have regrets?
Or will I just have happy memories
Of love
Of happiness
Of desire…
Is there life after death?
And if there is, what will I find?
And if there isn’t:
Where will I go?
Will my soul just drift throughout remaining time
Will it be wedged into someone else?
Will I remember anything that occurred in the short time I lived?
Or will it be faded into memory, into the abyss of history?

My new (broken) braces

I got my braces a month ago….and I broke a hook off this morning…
So, that probably means that I suck at keeping them all perfect and shit. And that also means that I failed at my goal a month into my treatment: to never have to go to additional treatments.FUCK.
Well, I can never say that I didn’t TRY. Ok, fine, I didn’t try too hard. I need to stop eating popcorn. Which makes me sad 😦
Ah well. It’s only 20 months. Which means I’ll probably be snacking on bananas ( and getting a ton of dick jokes in the process) until I’m almost 18.
I keep wondering…..and I completely lost my train of thought. Typical.
Anyway, the whole point of me getting braces was giving me a “beautiful” smile. Fine, straighten my teeth, but you can’t make me super “beautiful”. Seriously. That’s what people are concerned with? “A beautiful smile”? Is this targeted at girls with self-esteem issues? Because they keep emphasizing about how their braces give their clients or “patients” a “beautiful smile”. No “healthy” smile? Because “beauty” is more important! Thanks. This is why we have eating disorders in this country, the emphasis on “beauty”, but not “health”. (I shake my head in shame at this.)
Anyway, have an awesome SUNDAY! (Cue the crying in agony)
To the commenters:
How do you keep your braces clean/healthy?
Did you ever have to go in for an additional appointment to fix a fuck up?
Thanks, and have an awesome Sunday and a Monday that does not insist on sucking balls 🙂