Please don’t lecture me unless you have an active role in my childhood

My parents and teachers love to lecture. They also have an active role in my life, so they have every right to do it. Teachers have the special right to do it because they see me everyday of week, (as in business week) 9 to 5, for ten months out of the year.
Who doesn’t have a right? My grandparents. Both sets. They had nothing to do with raising me, teaching me values, setting a good example. None of grandparents have no right, they didn’t take part in my life, they didn’t teach me any values but this one: I’m a girl, therefore I have to be quiet and know how to work the house. No. That’s a different subject, but no. That’s not all I’m good for. They don’t ever set a good example, all they do is tell me to shut up and go into the kitchen. All they do is yell abuse at each other, so they don’t have a right to lecture and tell me about the world’s way. I love them, but if I met them on the street and learned about this behavior, I would leave right then and there. And I wouldn’t give three shits if it was rude.
My grandma from my mom’s side is a hard working woman and who isn’t trying to shove marriage down my throat. She single-handingly (however the fuck it’s spelled) raised both my cousins with virtually no help from their parents, and I get that their household is quiet and sugar and spice and everything nice. Not mine, but no, she constantly yells at me to be quiet. No because it bothers her, no, but because it’s not lady-like. This world isn’t for “ladies”, but of course there’s nothing wrong with that. I’m independent, and I’m a fighter and I’m proud of these qualities and I don’t appreciate her telling me to sit back, clear the table that my dad is fully capable of doing once in a while, and not have any opinions. Or at least, don’t talk about them. Seriously.
Also, I really hate my grandparents asking me why the hell I’m angry. Let’s see: I’m not a Christian, I’m not white but an ethnic Jew,I’m anti-organized religion, and oh yeah, I’m a girl, which gives me more rules than a man has. All of these things put me at a disadvantage, whether socially constructed or imagined insecurities. I have to somehow carve out a life in a recession that can lead into a depression and I have to somehow pay for college. Why the fucking hell am I angry? Well I’m a teenager with an uncertain and dim future. So grandma, please don’t bitch about my anger unless you have been in my shoes, and no I don’t disrespect you because you lived during World War Two and all of that, but still. Unless you play an active role in my life, you have no right to lecture about it.
Also, a teacher has to teach me. That’s why they give out lectures, so they teach. They teach values, and they do have to set an example. For example, if they say that drugs are bad: then they shouldn’t do drugs. That’s pretty obvious. Don’t drink and drive? Same. Don’t text and drive? Ditto.
Bottom line: if you don’t have a job in my childhood, be it raising me, or teaching me skills and whatever else, do not lecture me, do not attempt on telling me on how to live my life unless you play an active part in it.

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